There are many times where wanted to throw a truth some reality back.
Just keep on the listen & validate. You want her to think boy, BEClem sure is different than he was 10 years ago, and I like it.
I've used this forum to say what I really wanted but couldn't quite a few times.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Good job BE! I have both this forum and a whole book of unsent emails that would accurately describe how I feel in the moment. Very thankful that they are now deleted.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Yes the WAS don't realize how difficult life is financially when you are on your own, but I guess they along with us have to figure it out, tough but it is what it is.
up to this point your W has had it all her way, now is when that fantasy life and reality start to smack the poo out of each other, allow this to happen, all while you work on you.
Or do I reply with a validation? If so what do I say?
Cali: my first goal was streaking the quad: have that scheduled for this week lol.
On a serious note, I'm still working on them (the goals).
You were just served w/ a petition for D. There are times where being light, happy, and friendly just don't seem to be in order. This is one of them. Part of her waking up to reality is that she has just filed a law suit against you, so why does she think that you'll be there to commiserate over her struggles w/ this.
I'm not saying being mean or rude or go dark. Bet you a beer (if I win you buy yourself one, & if I win I'll buy myself one) that your non-response provokes another initiating contact to see whether you will be there for her.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Yup .... you were fired, and when your boss calls you and tells you its rough without you there you do not reply back with validation.... you let it sit, if you are smart you ignore it all and go about your day.
Now is not the time to play nice BEC, I am not saying go egg the house or slash tires, What you are striving for here is Indifference: absence of compulsion to or toward one thing or another
Roger that A and Cali. Makes complete sense. No response sent and none will be sent.
I hope you win that bet A.
One of the first thoughts that crossed my mind when I saw it was:
"What the heck are you reaching out to me for?"
Had a good conversation with my IC this evening on the telephone and told her about it as part of what we discussed. She also agreed that no response was best because it was setting a healthy boundary of "I'm not your husband anymore by your choice" without being cold about it.
