I am having a hard time following your sitch with the new threads .... so with that in mind I will try to offer my advice.
Originally Posted By: ILYNOT
Well she dropped off the kids Friday as usual, we sat down talked for a little bit, I then asked her how she was doing she started to sob, she said she misses the kids when theyre not with her and that its really hard at work having to work OT to try and drop the kids off at school etc.
I gave her a hug and told her she is a strong woman, I advised her to go to church as it is helping me out a lot, she then told me " you act as if I'm doing something bad or that I did this myself", I didn't respond although I wanted to say "this was your choice!!!" I didn't say anything, wonder if I should have.
Again ... no idea if OM is involved or what is going on .. but I would have not givein the hug ... W is starting to 'feel' the consequences of her actions ... allow her to do this, rather than hugging, you could simply validate here.
The part about going to church .. yeah .. DO NOT DO THAT... it comes off as you are Holier than Thou kind of vibe plus you are trying to fix her ... she needs to figure this out on her own ... again .. validate-rinse-repeat. She FIRED you remember?
Originally Posted By: ILYNOT
Anyhow, my question is I think(Mind reading) she is going to try and have the kids walk to my house after school since their school is really close and her new apartment is 10 miles away. Should I oblige if she were to ask, that means she would pick them up from my house every day, I would see her everyday...
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Depends ... is this obligation for you, or the kids .. who would it benefit here? Does it allow your W more cake eating and no consequences for the situation she has put the family in? Or would this simply be better for the kids to spend more time with you and allow your W to go through what she needs to go through?
I seen my W everyday dues to the arrangement we had exchanging S, did not speed up the process I can assure you .... she can not miss you if you are always there right? Now you can do the quick exchanges as I learned to do because I had GAL stuff going on ... but you have to hit a certain level of detachment for that to happen.
