Had a great weekend. Puttered around with kids and H.
A few noteworthy items. On Sunday made a nice breakfast for us all. This was something I used to do but stopped doing during my depression. Started doing this again months ago as I missed it so much but H has not joined me and kids. During my fog I remember him asking for us to eat as a family on the weekend mornings again but I could not muster up the energy for it. This weekend he did join us. It was nice!
Funny thing is, at the first breakfast together he stepped up and talked to kids about their goals before summer is out. I moved forward by making weekend breakfasts again and he moved forward in the parenting realm. Funny how that cycling can work! It was like old H but better because the message had more emotion in it. My ears perked up and I backed him up in front of the kids. This was one of the big things he said he needed from me.
Afterwards I validated him privately as well. Told him what a good father he is and how much I appreciate his help. Funny thing is: he validated me for backing him up! Is he secretly reading DB, too?
On one evening both kids were out. One of the things we agreed was that when the kids are out we definitely do something together. And we did! We went out and had fun together. We laughed and joked. We used to always laugh so much as we have a similar sense of humor. H even said this is fun again.
On drive home H out of the blue brought up childhood issues. He talked quite a bit. I validated and listened. He is trying to process some heavy stuff. When we came home he went off to a room by himself. I was impressed that he didn't just tell of things that happened in the past. Instead he communicated that he understood how those events impacted and shaped him. Heavy duty processing taking place.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
