I just started by asking her if I had done anything in the last week that she was bothered by and she even sort of said she understood why I had acted that way. I asked her to please make sure in the future that she let me know when I ask too many questions gently but firmly.
This brings to mind something I want to tell you. I understand you are trying to avoid mistakes along the way, and want her to tell you if/when you do something that bothers her. That is okay...as long as you can do the same with her. It's one thing for a woman to tell a man when he does or says something she doesn't like, but can she take the same constructive criticism? Most can't.
In an effort to avoid mistakes, it is possible to form a habit of pretty much dancing to her tune and becoming something that looks very passive. Just make sure she's not laying down all the rules for you, in order to live up to her expectations. I just wanted to warn you about it.
Just for the record, she was the wayward spouse, not you. She is suppose to be meeting your conditions, not the other way around. (It's fine for you to work on the things where you were wrong. As long as she is giving, too). Yes, you probably contributed to the breakdown of the M, but she's the one that has the burden of proof on her shoulders. She's the one who needs to meet your conditions, not the other way around. She's the one who broke the trust and will need to earn it back again. WW's are infamous for getting around this topic and twisting things around to make the H the bad guy.
Just stay balanced in these things.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
