Sitting and Spinning

[asitis]

Sorry Heavy. I know wanting to push things along, then I remember that I can't run away and make this stop, as the children will keep us tied together.

She hasn't done anything since filing. I don't see that as wearing you down. I see that as her having at least some unconscious mixed feelings and letting things go. She is watching you. She is seeing that you are the type of person who will not go back to old Heavy, and trust is slowly growing. You've got the A throwing a wrinkle in this that you just don't know about.

On the best friends part, you just want to say, I make it a rule that someone who sues me isn't my best friend. STFU smoothies. There is still a lot of fantasy.

Now it is wearing your down if she has been pressing you to sign. Maybe I missed it, but I don't see reports of this.

Just let the A fizzle. You're reaching its life expectancy, and maybe she is starting to see the grass isn't greener.

My coach keeps telling me patience through the dust settling phase is the best predictor of success. As long as the A continues, you are in that phase. When she starts consistently reciprocating and showing interest in friendship, that is a sign that this phase is coming to an end and the friendship phase is beginning. That is the route back. You are seeing signs that you may be approaching the friendship phase.

That's when she has dropped the anger and allowing herself to see you again rather than the story about you she has been projecting on you. Only then can all your hard work to be attractive really start getting her attention and consideration.

I'm potentially going through some of this myself. I have no idea whether the signs I'm getting are really movement. It gets my hopes up even when I tell myself not to. I start having feelings again. Then I find detachment very, very difficult. It feels like I'm back to that exhausting phase before detachment really took hold. I start watching her, focusing on her, and it is tiring and I'm anxious. I try to double down on detachment & GAL, but it is hard. I understand the desire to throw in the towel because I don't want to get my hopes up only to have them crushed again.

All I can say is that you've done all this work, it may be paying some profits, and she is right that if you can maintain a friendly working relationship it will be best for the kids.

All that said, sometimes the reality that you aren't going to wait forever and that they might lose you can trigger a change in them. I'm not advocating a path for you, but I'd at least give it a little time to see if some of these thawing signs continue or turn out to be temporary thing.

Hang in there.