Did you send an email? My counselor gave me great advice, always sleep on it and if it is time cricical, it can surely wait an hour while you think about it. Not sure if an apology in that case is a bad idea. You can apologize for what you feel what your part in it. Test it out and see if it works or doesn't then remember that. I found it took a long time for me to develop tactics to not get triggered emotionally. I tried a rubber band around my wrist that I could snap, but she saw me doing it once and it irritated her Then I learned to just stop. I developed this mechanism of freezing when I heard something upsetting. After I freeze, I take two breaths with no thinking. Then I process what I heard and decide if I need to respond or say, "I need to go and think right now about what was said. We can talk later". You cannot affor to get angry or argue, ever. THAT is your first challenge. Make it a game where you track how well you do. "Only 1 argument out of 10 triggers this week!"
H:54 W:46 D:11 D:21 M:12 BD:1/15 In-house Separation 2/15 DB started 7/15, W sees consistency 9/15 Dropping the rope and having her leave 2/16, moves 5/16 Reconciliation 1/17 Obviously still struggling
Then I learned to just stop. I developed this mechanism of freezing when I heard something upsetting. After I freeze, I take two breaths with no thinking. Then I process what I heard and decide if I need to respond or say, "I need to go and think right now about what was said. We can talk later". You cannot affor to get angry or argue, ever. THAT is your first challenge. Make it a game where you track how well you do. "Only 1 argument out of 10 triggers this week!"
