Glad to hear you're still moving along. It's important to not have arguments, especially in front of the kids. That's one thing I'm proud of in my own sitch is that the kids have never even seen either of us raise our voice at each other through this whole thing. Pretty amazing when you think about it.
If your W moves out, it's going to be a mixed blessing. In the long run, it's probably for the best, as it will help you detach. But in the short run, it's going to hurt...badly. Believe me, I've been through it. And am still going through it, although it is getting slightly easier each day. As bad as it is to be in this situation and see her now, it's going to be that much worse when you don't see her for days on end. You're going to be thinking about her non-stop, probably for quite a while. Maybe several weeks, or even months. I've been doing bare min contact for about a month, and it's still tough.
But I think it's a necessary pain that you have to go through. You need to lovingly detach from your W to give your R a fighting chance. Right now, you're so emotional that you don't stand a chance of making the right choices and getting her interested again. So sorry to tell you, but prepare for a lot more pain. And stick do DBing as much as you can. I've been tempted to backslide so many times, but I always resist because I know this is what gives me the best chance. Remember, it's a LONG road back. Keep posting.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
Time for a new thread. You have 101 postings/replies.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Ok, I've navigated the sea of WAW traps today. She tried to pull me in but I resisted. Hell yea that felt good. Even went shopping for schools supplies. I took care of the boys and took care of the D12. I know I have a long..... way..... to go. I had victory for 2 days and I'm proud of myself. She hasn't mentioned moving out since monday. I'm not bringing it up. I'm fine if she does. In fact it would probably be better. One day at a time. GOD GIVE ME THE PATIENTS THAT THIS REQUIRES.
M:39 W:40 S:10 S:7 D:12 BD:3/5/15 Separate BR:3/5/15 W moved out with kids 1/3/16
You make a new thread same way as you started your first one. Just name it the same and add Part 2 or something to distinguish it. And it's helpful to put a link in it to the last thread as your first post.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
Your question about how to start a new thread isn't stupid. You would start the thread just as you did this one when you came to the forum.
To start a new thread:
1. Go to the top of the forum and you will see a read button that says "New Topic" this button is to the left of the button "Forum Options". 2. Click on the red button "New Topic" 3. Give your new thread a name in the blank "Subject" line and begin to post in the blank box that has "Post" to the left of it. 4. You may want to post a link to your old thread in your new posting. 5. You may also want to post a link in your old thread to your new thread.
If you aren't sure how to link your threads, I'll be happy to provide the instructions for that as well:
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
