You are doing something about your situation. We all feel we are not doing enough but essentially that boils down to us facing something we cannot control.

Listen to the advice. Do the work and time will tell. Best of luck.

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together