So this morning I have a feeling of there is noting I can do to change my current situation

When I say this i know I can better myself and start to try to move forward but I do not want to move forward but I have to [censored] [censored] [censored]

But my W just seems to be distancing herself from me further and further I want to be able to slow this down or stop it but I cannot I am feeling so [censored] lost

Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.