All About Me?! Scared!

[Painter]

Your self-insights are really coming with lightning speed! I think you have so much going for you with your ability to look at all of this in such a constructive manner.

And I'm getting some insights from you that I think I can relate to my H, who I believe reacts in a similar way to you. I'm direct about saying what I need, so it's hard for me to really understand that it can be difficult to do that.
I know that when I have situations like these with H, I sometimes feel like he's setting me up for failure - I can't win because he didn't tell me what he needed or wanted or was unhappy with, but then resents me for not doing whatever it is, right. He experiences what I perceive as emotional flooding and gets very angry and verbally loud.

It's hard to keep a PMA when you are exposed to someone treating you the way your BF is. He *is* disrespectful - but I doubt he's going to admit it to you. You have every right to be angry, but you won't be able to talk him into treating you right, so anger is probably not going to get you anywhere with that.

What helped me most when I was emotionally overwhelmed, was go to my room and journal. Writing down my emotions helped me not confront H, and it gave me time to calm down. I bought a journal just for this purpose. I also write if I can't sleep at night.

If I get angry to where I want to break something, I leave and go for a drive, to the store or to treat myself to an ice cream. Getting away gives me time to calm down and do something distracting.

Music helps me, too - it has an amazing impact on the mood, and aromatherapy oils can calm you down in a minute. I used a blend of lavender, bergamot and ylang ylang on my pillow to help me sleep when I couldn't, and when I was anxious during the day. I hope maybe some of these strategies can help you!