Well I am feeling really anxious tonight. H went tubing with OW around noon its now 8pm not home and I have to work at 10pm. He does not know that I need to work I will message him around 9 and let him know he needs to be home by 930 as to not sound pursuing. I am CHOOSING to not be upset about it to look at the feelings and realize they are anxiety and not anger. I know my anxiety usually turns to anger so I am aware that I need to control that when I see him. I am CHOOSING not to lecture him about being gone all week and not seeing his kids that is HIS problem. I am CHOOSING to control me! I have been with them all week so I am not losing out. It is only one day but I have not pursued simply asked what time he was planning to get home and when he did not answer I CHOOSE not to send multiple texts. I called to let him know I had to work he did not answer called back while I was sleeping I called back no answer so I will text half hour before I need to leave. No need to bother him or pursue or control. Its one day but Its a very very small step. Very powering making a different choice!
Yeah, it does sound like there's room to improve on communicating schedules...but for now who cares. This is OUTSTANDING progress!
Keep that "choosing" mantra up. It is SO powerful. It focuses you on you, empowers you to control your life, and challenges you to examine your motives (as you have been doing).
This is the early stages, but if you can stay on this path you will be a woman only a fool would leave. I can already see a difference.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
