Did you leave a message telling him that you need to be at work at 10pm? This has nothing to do with pursuing, I think, it seems like a housekeeping matter.

If you have texted him without telling him you need to go to work, and called him without leaving a message where you told him, and plan on giving him 30 minute's notice to get home - how do you expect him to react to that?

It's good that you haven't bombarded him with texts today, and I certainly can understand the pain you are experiencing and how it causes you anxiety. Not only that, but he's treating you like cr@p, letting you take care of his children while he's out with another woman! Totally disrespectful and callous.

However, if you are going to behave the very best way *you* can, how about sending the very first text just saying: "I'm working at 10pm, will you be home by 9:30?" That will promote a smooth and calm interaction between the two of you, which I assume you would like regardless what happens.

M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17