I think you need to stock up on the spew jackets and STFU smoothies. There was NOTHING to be gained by having this kind of impassioned discussion in the car in front of your kids.
Look at it from her point of view. Regardless of your ACTUAL motives, it surely felt like a trap to her; captive audience in front of your children and you played it off like it's all her fault.
I think you need to back off from her. But you do need to figure out how to get your time with the kids.
