That is excellent Ghost that you are working on yourself, identifying your issues and resolving them in a positive way. We all have baggage and sadly most choose to ignore it and just push along. But when we are confronted with a difficult life situation such as yours (and mine and everybody else's on these boards) we start to look within and hopefully we gather enough strength to start resolving our issues.
We are working on us, we are growing, we are clearing toxicity from our lives.
If you work on yourself and leave your W to the higher powers to handle (because in all honesty, you cannot do anything for her, she has to figure herself out), you will in time reach calmness (it will take time and in my experience you can count on at least a year). Do not waste your time to try to figure her out and on the futile attempts on fixing her (YOU CANNOT!!!) and you cannot nice her back into the relationship. I know you know your W better than all the world combined, but she is another person now. I am not saying to be a dick to her, be friendly, but you must detach for your own sanity.
In my own experience you will see flashes of your old W from time to time, but mostly you will not recognize her and her behavior will produce a lot of WTF moments.
She will try to guilt you in a lot of things, she will try to make this about you and she will try to control you and keep you in your place. Those are my opinions and before 25 rushes in with a 2x4, I stand by my words. I do hope (and I pray) that I am wrong in my assessment of the situation and you will get back together in the very nearest of futures.
Ghost, friend, I am not trying to be funny and I do want to offer my full support to you. You will find yourself confused a lot of the times, you will struggle with your feelings a lot of the time,but it does get better in time, it really does. Read others' threads, do offer your support to them and do give back some support you receive from the wonderful people on these boards. Commenting on other people's situations will give you a greater insight into your own. Go out in nature, go mingle with friends, (jump)start your life for you and your children...
Although I do not know you, we are brothers in this situation.
