Need advice for a WW who left Part 2

[Pyrite]

hi dwh, just stopping by. skimmed over threads 1&2. wouldn't be surprised if I missed it, but in a nutshell - why has WW escaped? what was she not getting in the M?

There is generally a gripe about us, and although it is not always "sound" and certainly doesn't justify treating your family like this, let alone your H, it might be a good thing for your own growth sake to address these issues at least. Growing through the grief will do unimaginable things to your mental state and perception of yourself. It is humbling, and through the humility it is easier to forgive, be compassionate and perhaps attractive to your W.

You're doing a great job to manage 4 boys, 2 with "problems". DON"T take on her as well. She wants out. Give it to her. Stop facilitating her. Just say NO. One expression my WW repeated over and over at BD was I owe you nothing, I owe the M nothing. obviously I can't agree with that, but you know what - now she is asking for favours, to accommodate her new life and honestly can't see why I am not complying. It is not a vengeful thing at all.

In my case it would be hurting me an my girls to accommodate her, and that is all I would be achieving. So it is clear cut for me. It sounds callous, and maybe part of me is vindictive and enjoys denying her favours which I am not proud of, but you know what - now - that she is in R with OM, takes him to family etc, the [censored] even stays in m y house every 2nd week when I am not there wit the girls, she wants D etc - I really do owe her NOTHING. If she wants out - give it to her!