trying to figure this out

[little1]

Does this mean you have always been doing all these things ^^, OR simply that you are going to start on them now? Either way- good for you little!

I have been doing these things for the last year. I am very proud of my accomplishments.

One thing that slightly disturbs me - Yes there is always hope, and I would definitely not want you to throw that +ve away, BUT be careful here. Hoping for an outcome will hold you back from letting go and appreciating what you have and what you will have regardless of what your H does in the future.

I understand this

When I say it isn't gone for good, I really mean that for now (at least) it is gone, your R is gone. That doesn't mean it will never come back. Remember you want to be in a position where you are "open to R", because you are not bitter, you are compassionate and forgiving, and you stand for your family. You are NOT "waiting" around for H to maybe come around. It is conceivable and even statistically probable that your H will carry on medicating his way for years. You on the other hand will grow through this and come out the other end an even better person than you are now.

This is where I want to be.


My point is that the path to ANY better future is one of detachment, letting go, forgiveness, compassion and love.

This is what I want.