I think the main thing is that your D gets to have the best possible birthday. So, if he wants to come and not share rooms, just book one for you and your D. He can either make his own arrangements, or you could offer to book a single room for him too...
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Believe none of what he/she says and 50% of what he/she does. I think I've asked this before but does this apply to things he says to others about me that are not true? Or is it just believe none of what he says to me?
Why would you believe his comments that he makes to others if they are untrue? The answer is you don't. People listen to him, but if they know you, they won't say anything, but will doubt his comments either at the time they are said or they will begin to discover the real truth further along. Untrue statements can be considered projections or he's making stuff up to justify why he's doing what he's doing. BTW, people who will challenge him on his lying comments will be cut off because he will not want to have them calling him on his lies.
As for his comments to you, believe only 50% of what he says.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Believe none of what he/she says and 50% of what he/she does. I think I've asked this before but does this apply to things he says to others about me that are not true? Or is it just believe none of what he says to me?
Personally I think you believe none of what he says - period.
When he makes comments to you, step back and think, are these comments and/or actions live or Memorex? If you think that the comments he is making to you are not true, then don't believe them. They have a way of projecting on to us what they truly think of themselves. Sometimes, and I mean sometimes, there may be a pebble of truth in the mix, but I would certainly not allow his gibberish to bring me down. You are the only one that knows whether his gibberish has any truth in it or not. If there is a pebble of truth and it's something you can make changes on, then do so...but do it for YOU, not him.
That's my two cents.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Today for me was an okay day. I worked and then we went to my cousin's wedding. I came home and then went and walked for 25 mins.
My husband called about my daughters party tomorrow. we were suppose to take my daughter to the movies. he bailed on six flags. well he couldn't talk to me without me being on speaker and his mom was telling him things to say.
I am so done. I am tired of trying to be the nice guy and keep my cool then him behave like that.
Haunted: I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'm going to ask you two questions which may seem contradictory: 1) What things do you think you legitimately should work on to be a better partner?(I'm not talking about his crazy complaints, but what you feel you legitimately can own).
2) If you're honest about it, can you list all the ways in which your H was never really a very good spouse?
What advice can yall give for when I want to text/call him? I don' know how to stop myself from doing it.
Its driving me crazy wondering how he doesn't miss me, or want to talk to me. Ugh I feel like im going two steps back every day
This is a little late and I'm only just starting to read through your thread so sorry if others have said this already.
I have found it VERY helpful to either come on here and post or journal (I'm even doing that on here too) when I feel the need to initiate contact while W is at work.
M: 36 yo W: 36 yo S: 7 D: 4 M: 13 yrs BD: 6/14 (??) PE Confirmed 7/15 (4 months) The road to recovery starts now
Haunted: I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'm going to ask you two questions which may seem contradictory: 1) What things do you think you legitimately should work on to be a better partner?(I'm not talking about his crazy complaints, but what you feel you legitimately can own).
2) If you're honest about it, can you list all the ways in which your H was never really a very good spouse?
My anger/temper. work on conflict and how to handle it.
his pursing of women, he started not giving me attention, lack of communication toward the end to me.
So, the party went okay. He told me he didn't want to be alone with me because he was afraid I would beg him back. I said well I am not discussing this. This is our daughters day and that's what we should focus on.
He had texted me throughout the day yesterday and discussing going out to eat next weekend. Of course, he wants to bring his mom. I am not sure I want to go. He wants to go eat at Longhorn, which is where we had many wedding anniversary dinners. No idea why he would pick that one of all places. But I am not sure if I should go. Part of me wants to, the other part says no.
Seeing him yesterday has just confused me even more. Like I don't even know what I am feeling. It just seems like I am going through another round of emotions. It seems like it doesn't get any easier. It's been a month since he left. I can't even believe it's been that long.
