V is for Vanilla 20

[Dawn70]

First off, V...creepy dream. I can understand but wow...I would've had trouble sleeping.

I LOVE your list from a few pages back. I may have said this to you already or on my own post, but the single most cathartic part of the whole D experience for me was throwing away cards XH had given me where he had written sappy sweet stuff that no longer means what it once did. XH was a tad bit of a hoarder, so anything that he didn't bother to take the time to pack and take with him, I pitched. If he couldn't be bothered to pack, I'm sure as heck not spending my time and money to pack it up and mail it to him. To heck with that! It was such a totally amazing feeling to just carry bag after bag out to the trash. And, I, like you, put up all the pictures of us together and memorabilia from our marriage. I didn't throw those things away, but put them out of sight where I don't have to think about them. When I moved to the new place, I have some of the same artwork, but most of it is stuff I had before we got married anyway, so it was mine all along. This process helped me work through a LOT of stuff.

Now, after that long rambling bit, I wanted to address the question you posed on my thread asking what the this Dawn would say to the old Dawn and vice versa. I'm not sure I can give a good, coherent answer to that right this second, but I'm certainly going to think about it because it is worth really examining. Very thought-provoking question, my dear V and one that I WILL get back to you on after I have some time to think about it and see what direction my mind leads. I can tell you that one thing I would tell the re-emerging Dawn is to tread cautiously because, while I'm not ruling out finding love again, I will NOT be fooled again. Not worth it and I can't afford to give another 9 years of my life to another person who claims to be true and loving but can walk away to another person without even batting an eye. Thanks for giving me something to ponder while I finish up organizing my spare room tomorrow and getting my artwork and stuff hung on the walls.