have i been making mistakes too long

[dwh15]

I can't help but think during this that it's all my fault. My logic says no its not all your fault but my mind is an a-hole. Saying things like " what makes you think anyone would want you much less your wife who knows you better than anyone". Just being pessimistic which is the norm these days.

What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Remember, you own 50% of the blame for the M having issues. But your W owns 100% of the blame for having the A. There is NEVER a valid excuse for someone stepping out on a M. You need to examine yourself and realize whatever issues you have that contributed to the problems. And then work on fixing those. But your W also contributed, plus she made everything 10x worse by having an A.

Low self esteem is a huge issue when going through this process. All I can tell you is that there ARE women who will find you attractive, especially once you gain back some self confidence and be a proud man. I was feeling the same as you, but have found that whenever I am in public, just acting confident and smiling, sometimes striking up a conversation, can do wonders. I've even had some cute women flirting a little bit. It's perception; you need to perceive yourself as worthy and strong, then others will see you that way too. I know it's difficult but just go through the motions for now; fake it til ya make it. You WILL come out of this OK.