New post (was MLC w/EA possible PA) and confused.

[kyrie]

Azzork, I know that's a problem w/my perspective. I guess its more that I'm just scared of doing it all wrong... knowing that I keep doing things wrong. Things seem so precarious - sometimes very good and sometimes still bad.
No, I don't understand some things but maybe those are things which I'll never understand. I just need to *KNOW*. And I know he's probably not ready.
For a Christian, forgiveness is also explicitly said. We are exhorted to both confess & repent and also speak forgiveness. In that order. It's how we do it in church services, it's how we are encouraged to act in the Scriptures, etc. So, you can see why I'm not 100% on what you're saying. I think it is very important to forgive - vitally so! I have forgiven in my heart. But he is not interested in that forgiveness yet. Or he's scared to "go there" yet.
Letting go of the hurt... I still want so much to move on and build a new life with him. But that hurt is nearly always there. I don't show it to him, if I can help it. I know that doesn't help. Still trying to be easy breezy. Sometime he takes that as being cocky or condescending... so I'm sure I'm doing a lot of this all wrong.