have i been making mistakes too long

[HurtHus]

Nobody who hasn't been through this will ever be able to understand it. I remember when I used to say to myself, that if I ever caught my W cheating, that would be it! Kick her to the curb, be a total a-hole to her, no regrets on my part, never look back. Oh, how much different reality is when it happens. This is just one of those experiences that nobody can predict how they will really feel until they live through it.

That is absolute truth. I thought the same way.

One thing I will say to you both that I've picked up here and through my DB coach. Our marriage is dead and gone. At least the old one is. It is also not one worth holding onto or going back to. That's not to say a new R or M can't be born out of this and it can't be a better R or M than it ever was. Just accept that the old R is dead and gone. That will help. At least it did in my situation.