have i been making mistakes too long

[dwh15]

My family is saying the same thing. Her family is saying that I can't give up. And they don't get how hard it is to live through this

Nobody who hasn't been through this will ever be able to understand it. I remember when I used to say to myself, that if I ever caught my W cheating, that would be it! Kick her to the curb, be a total a-hole to her, no regrets on my part, never look back. Oh, how much different reality is when it happens. This is just one of those experiences that nobody can predict how they will really feel until they live through it.

My sitch is the same, in that my family is all pretty much in the "move on" camp, but WW's sisters are still hoping for me to hold on. As time goes on though, even they are starting to understand that it might really be over and wouldn't blame me for filing D. Funny enough, WW's own father almost immediately encouraged me to move on the second he found out. He went through something similar in his life with his 1st M, so I'm sure this hits close to home for him.

All I can tell you is that things should start to get a little easier as you start to detach. I can feel myself letting go a little more every day. I almost feel guilty sometimes, because I know I'm the only one with any interest in saving the M right now. But I can't keep living with a pit in my stomach 24-7, unable to concentrate on anything for more than 5 minutes. I'm doing my best to lovingly detach, while still leaving the door open for a possible R. I believe I can maintain that position for a few months, but know that I'm going to eventually hit a breaking point and just be done. Even now, I'm starting to question sometimes whether I really want my W back, and whether I could ever trust her again. But I'll cross that bridge when and if I get get to it. Hang tough.