I'm sorry to hear this. Now, you need to look at this as a business partnership that has gone south. No more discussions w/her about anything except paying the bills and the children. Everything else...go to your lawyer and allow him/her to work w/her lawyer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.