Luke, when we db,, we need to look deeply inside, often to places we don't want to go to try to get to our best selves. We put some stuff into place regarding our spouses while we do that, like detaching, etc. We learn to concentrate on ourselves and what we need to do.
With piecing you need to dig deeper into all of that and when you do, it exposes more stuff about yourself. Deeper feelings that need dealing with, but, you are adding in the dynamic between the two of you and all that brings.
You are looking at some deep seated things here. Things that make you question.
That's good, though. This is stuff that needs dealing with no matter what happens with your wife.
Communication is key. So is not letting things fester. Deal with it as it comes and then put it to rest.
I do want to say that I feel as if you are both speeding this up a bit more than you should be. That's just my opinion.
Nothing has to be decided today. I think its important that you let this play out and that you address what you need to.
There will be triggers. There will be tests. No way around it. The only way is through it.
