^^^ good stuff from both Vanilla and CaliGuy. Let me add a couple of other thoughts. First, DB and the Board preach GAL to help us detach. GAL helps in a couple of ways. Mainly by keeping our minds off of ourselves (and our wives) and our problems, and re-focusing our thoughts on others or on whatever GAL activity we are doing. GAL not only makes us a more interesting person, but also helps us keep our minds occupied.
My other thought is that I found it easier to detach from my W by understanding that my W has already left, and she will likely never come back. Once I really grasped that the outcome of my marriage, whether the divorce goes thru or there is some sort of reconciliation, it is out of my control. And I must be healthy and happy whatever happens to our R, and whatever comes down the road.
