have i been making mistakes too long

[dwh15]

Just got caught up on your sitch, TKDm. So sorry about what you're going through. I'm in a similar boat, except my WW moved out to be with OM. Left me at home with all 4 kids. It's been 5 months and I still struggle daily. Not nearly as bad as that first few weeks, but she's on my mind a LOT. I am gradually starting to back away from her, but I think it just takes a long time (several months) to try and adjust to this. And I'm not sure I could have ever started detaching with my W living in the same house.

For the first few weeks, she wanted us to be BFFs and I played along for a while. Daily texting, regular calls, even family events with the kids every couple of weeks. But I finally realized it was keeping me stuck, unable to move on, and it was giving WW everything she wanted. No consequences at all; she gets to sleep with OM, while having me give her the emotional and financial stability of still being in a M. I finally got the courage to cut it all off. It was pretty dramatic, but since then has settled down. And, as could probably be expected, WW lost almost all interest in wanting to communicate at all once she couldn't get her way.

It's been VERY difficult going days on end with basically NC, but I am starting to adjust and do more GAL. I feel your pain. No doubt this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But I take comfort in knowing others have been there and made it out the other side. Regarding the dinner, it's your call, but I would suggest that you don't accept every invitation involving your W and her family. Maybe once in a while, it's fine, but the rest of the time, I would try to come up with other plans be be busy during that time. I'm sure her family will understand, and your W will probably be relieved. You don't want to put continuous pressure on her by being around all the time. I know it will be hard, and you want to be there, but IMO, it's not helping. Your W needs some time away from you to sort out her feelings. Hang in there brother. I'll be following for updates.