HI JellyB! Thanks for your posts here. I am very verbally and emotionally abusive when I get mad. The nice part of this situation is while he says it is very unlikely we will work it out it is not out of the question. He has said every time we have talked that he would let me know if his feelings change. If his feelings change and he wants to or feels the need to be with me he would tell me. So I assume that means he has not completely given up just most of the way! I need to read on co-dependency and finding yourself again. He states exactly why these situations happen. Its because I act like a baby and throw a fit when I dont get my way. While that sounds abusive the way he says it it is true completely true. Exactly what I do throw a tantrum and throw things from the past in his face. I will also say I will watch the kids then throw in his face that I always have to watch them. He told me today that he gives me more and more respect and then I do this and we go back to this spot where we are only friends barely talking ect so this is where he is keeping it. He informed me today that they are GF and BF and have been for a few months. I find this hard to believe as we have ML at least 3 times since then so I guess he is not being faithful to her either. I am just lost. I need to control the emotions, be kinder, respective, and not so needy. I am so scared I am losing him as a person in my life. I know the past R is gone but I would like to start over on a much more healthy path. I am just plain hurting and scared. At this point I have no control over anything and it is very very scary to me. I need to get my butt in gear and save myself because I can only handle so much. Im sick of this cycle just not sure how to break it! I just want my family back!
