Sorry that text was such a trigger for the aniexty. I have managed anxiety for most of my life, so get the sense of urgency and desperation you feel. Are you taking any, meds, IC, meditation. If not , you may want yo consider taking these next steps.
Anxiety is about mastering thoughts and emotions. Often triggers are based in childhood, often related to unmet emotional needs, or emotional and physical invalidation. There is an opportunity here to slow down and figure this out.
Lady V, has some good resources on emotional flooding that I think you would find helpful. I am sure you have read Co dependency no more, and , there are codependency support groups around based on the 12 steps used in AA and Alanon. I believe there are some online groups too, using the 12 steps. The 12 Steps have provided me with real comfort at times. There are many here who use this work as guiding principals for there life. There is peace to be found.
Keep reading DB or DR the principals and practice are solid. anything on boundaries is priceless as the codependent is boundaryless.
And for interesting reading I found "mr unavaliabe and the fallback girl" some real world practical wisdom. Not academic or well researched by any means, but a real read for women you continue to attract the man who continually dictates the terms of the relationship. I believe you can down load the book from I tunes. I could here in nz.
Codependency has as many nauaces and shades as any addiction. Until you understand what it is and what it looks life in your life, it will be difficult to get a handle on it. The good thing is you are here. And starting to ask questions of yourself and about your relationship with your partner.
Lady V and Zelda's abuse thread is an amazing minefield of information. Read up on reactive abuse. I was a terrible one for losing all emotional control when triggered (emotional invalidation is my number I trigger, anytime I feel invisible, rejected or misunderstood by my partner- bang I would be off - my partner would be verbally and emotionally bombarded, ambushed by very thought and emotion I was experiencing in the moment and leading up to the incident). I didn't do angry, but I was cruel with intimate truths I knew about my partner and his vulnerabilities. I feel lots of shame for this, but I am moving through it,
i know from my own life that when I was in emotional crisis from BD, I wasn't in place to make any big decisions. It wasn't till I had my anxiety under control that other pathways and options became clearer.
Breath well, eat well, move well. This my mantra for staying mentally well. With anxiety, when everything else is out if control, these are the things I can do to find control within myself.
Light and love as you continue on this journey 4mykids.
