Difrent's Detachment - Attempts at It, Anyway

[DifRent]

Met with my Stephen Minister this morning, and as I was relaying the events of the past two weeks, a pattern emerged that she brought to my attention.

"She's really struggling with losing you right now, isn't she?"

And as much as I've been avoiding getting into her head, I thought about it and realized - we really are at the point predicted here by all good divorce busters where she's beginning to feel the impact of losing me. I hadn't seen it before, and it's not there all the time. But the phone calls, the wanting to talk, the missing me, the pained look on her face, the "I hope we can be friends one day" mantra...

Maybe I'm plan B for the future, or more likely it's that she wants to eat cake now. Again, not sure what it is about me that she doesn't want to lose, but if I had to compare what I have to offer with what the OW doesn't, she's missing a certain peace, stability, calm, lack of pressure, and spiritual grounding. I know these are things we shared, and things that simply aren't there with this new woman.

Also, I think I've made some strides over the past month that indicate I have a life she's missing out on. It doesn't begin to compare to her super busy and glamorous routine at the moment, where it will be a long time before things have the chance to burn out between them. But even today, when I came home long enough to shower and leave for an appointment, she just had to ask from the office upstairs, "You're leaving? Where are you going?"

"Where are you going?" That's been her most frequently asked question of me these past three months. Today, it took on a deeper meaning for me.

As my life calms down and hers continues to spin, well... it will all work out, no matter what happens. I know this, and the tight knots in my gut loosen just a bit each day.