Great advice from PigPen, Vanilla and Zues. Maybe all of Zues's comments don't apply, but there is a lot of wisdom there, try to read it with detachment rather than as an attack. He is spot on about the humble attitude and realizing how badly you've hurt her, and acknowledging that and respecting it.
Dys, I know it's hard but ask yourself what has really changed in your sitch with her filing? It's like we've said many, many times here- it's just a piece of paper. I've read many sitches here (and it happened to me too) where the WAS files and then just lets it sit in limbo. In my case I was the one that finally pushed the D through because I got tired of the limbo. Many marriages have recovered AFTER papers were filed. Hell many couples get back together after getting divorced. Like we've all been saying, you are in a marathon. There will be a lot of difficult roadblocks ahead of you, don't let them change your PMA or your long-term goals. And yes, you backslid with the things you told her. No biggie, just learn from it and resume your DB'ing. If/ when she brings up the D again then VALIDATE her. "You've been through a lot of pain and I can see why you feel this is necessary and I support you no matter what." Quit trying to sell yourself to her, it never works. Keep working on yourself and give her time and space. Give her what she wants, quit making it about what YOU want. YOU want to stay together, SHE wants a divorce. So if you fight her over it, you are telling her once again that it is all about YOUR needs, not hers. Let her do what she wants to do, respect her wishes. And eventually she may decide you are the man for her after all.
