So many issues can it all be from MLC

[HurtHus]

Hi Ellie,

Thanks for responding. I'll reply quickly, but want to answer point by point some of your post. You give really great insight. My W has suffered depression, anxiety, and ADHD in the past. She is taking medication for the anxiety currently.

I have met with the atty on several occasions and the W knows this. I'm not using it to pressure or manipulate her. I just want to be transparent about it. She suggested the D and didn't do anything about it so I was not going to sit around. I am about as prepared for what my stance is as I can be. Which is to say not well at all at this point.

You have a good point about the MC. I can't put the responsibility solely on her shoulders. At least she will talk with my DB coach so I will just keep going down that route for now.

She never had a very loving family and doesn't have a really good example of what a long term marriage looks like. When we first met she lost her GF due to Alzheimer's and had not lost anyone since then until after my recent flair up when she lost her GM. They weren't close, but that was right after my flair and after she started to be unhappy with aging. She has been worrying about wrinkles and such for the last year, and I mean almost obsessively. Honestly I think she was a really good partner. We worked through a lot. From the time we were just getting together in college we have overcome some serious financial and health issues and we have both helped the other get back on our feet and come out of some dark places. That's not to say she hasn't had unresolved issues since we met. Then again I think if we are all honest we all have some unresolved issues.

I am working on taking the high road and focusing on fixing what I have control over. I can only help her as much as she helps herself, but I need to help me be the best me first. I've seen a difference in how our kids respond to me and behave since beginning to really self reflect about 6 months ago. I love how far I've come with that and that is one of the beacons in this dark lonely place.