Answer to: "why didn't you hear it from ME?"

[Solo15]

I have no help to give other than backup what everyone else is saying. It sounds to me like you are on the right track. I will say that my wife has said the exact same words to me.

"you never listened", "we have nothing in common", "I don't think I could fall in love with you again"

My wife has literally said those things to me verbatim. And man do they hurt. They crush your hope. I think that in some ways, as men, we always listen to the content of what people are saying, rather than the reason they are saying it. Those words are coming from the echos of her pain, deep down pain. She's finally got a shot at freedom from that pain, and does not want to let it go. You are running into her defense mechanisms, her flak. Those things may be true, but I don't believe it. I think that those are words she says to herself internally(and to you) to re-anger herself and keep her from believing that things could get better.

My heart goes out to you man, but it sounds like there is some real positive movement there. Focus on your actions. Lovingly detach, and keep validating. Don't push. You got this!