I too was like this for quite some time. Once I learned to let go of the anger it became much easier to have a PMA around her.

It can be done. I don't have any type of trick or method that I can share. I can only say that when the rope is truly dropped then this comes naturally.

Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.