Finally asking for help:

[Solo15]

So I texted my wife last night. She had not contacted me in a few days. I felt like if I keep going dark, I'm just doing more of the same. One of her biggest issues with me was that I didn't pursue her or want to spend time with her. I kept it really light, just "Thinking about you, hope you are having a good time". She responded immediately and then asked to skype chat with me this morning. I said that I would love that.

So my phone starts ringing at 7 am sharp while I was laying in bed. I wasn't ready to answer, so I let it ring. She just kept calling over and over, so I finally picked up. Part of me feels like she was waiting for me to reach out.

We talked for 20 mins. Just light conversation. Joked around a lot. I tried to be bright and upbeat.

My wife has this way of pushing for details about what I've been doing and who I've been doing it with. I find it tough to be vague because she keeps pushing for info. I don't want to deny her my life, because I can't connect with her if I don't open up and talk to her like a normal human being.

That's sort of something I'm starting to see. It's almost a 180 for me to reach out to her. I'm not pursuing her romantically, or pressuring her for anything, but just doing what I would normally with a friend. I'm sorta trying to say, 'hey, I'm here and I care about our relationship'.

I struggle a bit with the LRT because my wife doesn't feel like I wanted to be with her most of our marriage. That was not true, but it's a hurt in her that's been there a long time. By following that course, I only enforce the old hurts. I feel like I have to find a hybrid where I reach out to her without pursuing. Just being friendly so that she sees that I do enjoy her company, and that I am enjoyable to be around.

That's one of the tough things in my relationship situation, because we are separated, but she wants to spend time with me.

Any thoughts?