hold on! - 11

[u-turn]

Hiya Jelly,
Kiaora

Thanks for your understanding - I feel like I have had integrity, but that is being challenged by W's spew as recently as last night.

After an unwarranted argument with d15, W storms off from the dinner table again and leaves (5 minutes into dinner) - I just stared at her. She immediately started the text message barrage which I just let go on and on - after about 30 minutes I (after I was done eating with D15 and her friend) I read the messages. She told me to stop being the kids F***ing friends, I am making everything worse, I am sabotaging her relationship with the kids, I am doing this by not having conversations with her at dinners and won't look at her during dinner........and on and on.

She said she is going to begin calling me out on this in front of the kids - I guess I need to prepare for this.

Maybe I need to suggest not having family dinners any more and have a schedule where I can have this with the kids without her and she can have this with the kids without me (I currently make dinners about 90% of the time) and eat with the kids 100% of the time unless they are gone doing something of course.

and then her last text message - the carrot and stick "I cannot believe I wrote something to give you" - what that means is she probably wrote me some kind of letter for me to read (maybe). She has not done that in since BD - it was something I wanted for a long time - at least earlier in the sitch, but now? She still knows how to get to me but I am not going to ask about it. (don't really believe this anyway)

I didn't respond to any of this at all - I think I won't.

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I would like to hear from other's too about how the serving was handled - though for the most part, I think that I am on the other end of the spectrum from most - most that have been served here are LBS and it was yet another emotional kick in the groin (and I get that and have been waiting for that). Now I am the one kicking. I agree that it is her and her BGP's problem to deal with, but I am not a person to ever want to cause anyone undue pain).

So I do not want to cause WW pain, fear, humility, or embarrassment. I don't want to teach her a lesson or any of that. I just want her to know what's coming so she can prepare her end of things.

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I don't mind at all talking about cycling - in fact sometimes I'd like to talk about anything but Rs and Ms and Ds and As and what to do and how to act and feelings and .... It's good to get away from that for a minute.

(oh - and sorry for the whole mile/km thing - silly american forgetting that we are the only ones using the greatest and measuring system of all time - I really think the rest of the world will see the value in this arbitrary system someday (down with the metric system!!!))

I'll come back to you about a new bike - that would cost money - spent on myself - for fun. That is not in the picture right now, but maybe someday. I was thinking this though - flat black - can't go wrong there - great minimal design and void of color and ornament - organize/hide those cables. I'll think more on this though.

My riding distances have been increasing and that has been surprisingly easy for me(I still have a lot of energy at the end of my rides) - I feel like I am only limited by the amount of time I can spend doing it. So - I am working on increasing my pace which is challenging me a bit (especially with that dang wind - which I have not made friends with yet - and my clunky do-all bike). I feel like you and I are in different cycling leagues as you are probably one of those sunday cyclists that zoom past me in packs (and I swear at - calling them show-offs - as they pull away from me laughing). I love being out there though.

Enjoy the weekend - (near chicago Friday-0739hrs)
Thanks for being a friend JB - Kia Kaha