I have one question: can we say we are really detaching if we understand we have to let go but still hate what that other person is doing to our family? And feel like we will never be able to forgive her?
Detaching/forgiving doesn't mean you don't care about the person or agree with what they are doing. It doesn't mean their actions don't hurt us or we don't have anger over it. Detaching is stopping those feelings from consuming our lives and stopping us from living. Theres a detachment thread that's useful to read(in the welcome post homework), but GAL is the key to detaching. You cant remove or force away your feelings, but you can control how long you dwell on them. GAL lets you get out and live, which can fills your mind with happy feelings, that can replace the dwelling of the negative ones.
Forgiving doesn't mean you agree with their actions or support them. It doesn't even mean they will fix what what they have done, which is why I think we say we cant forgive someone. To forgive simply means giving up your right to punish someone for their actions. It can still hurt us, its just controlling what we do as a result of what they do.
Keep posting Ripe, people will see your thread and offer advice. We all sometimes have too much to handle in our own sitch's so looking at others is a challenge.
I would also suggest reading others threads. You can find a similar situation and use the advice given to them to help. I've found much of my own help that way. It also gives people an incentive to look at your thread and post when you comment on theirs.
Last edited by Fogg; 08/07/1512:24 PM.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be