I feel you dys. I really do. I'm going to give you the same advice I got, I fought, and finally, when I accepted, changed everything for me.
Breathe, and give her time. Stay your course, and know that there's nothing you can do prove to her today that you'll stay sober. And everything you do today will seem like you're only doing it for her - except giving her time and space.
Time is your friend. It's HELL to hear that, but it's the truth. Lady V will probably come on here and tell you the same thing, but it's it absolutely true.
A week of good behavior is nothing, neither is a month, three months...now maybe she thinks it's sticking...six months is even better, but many people have gone six months and then relapsed.
You've got to take all that pain and anger and anguish and put it towards dealing with your demons my friend. Get into come counseling if you're not already, work the steps if you're in a 12 step program. White knuckling this won't solve anything, you've got to change the man that allowed the drinking to happen, not change the booze.
Think of addiction like the rotten roots of a tree. If you just cut the branches off, the root hasn't been fixed. You have to dig deep on this, and breathe through more pain that you ever knew existed in the world. And do it all feeling for the first time in a long time. I'll tell you, sobriety and separation in the same timeframe is a literal hell. BUT, you can use the fires to turn yourself into a new man. Burn away the old, let the new come to light.
What's your plan for sobriety? I'm sorry if it's listed in your thread I'm getting here a bit late. Are you in AA? Do you have a sponsor? Do you have a plan for what you're going to replace all that drinking with?
Get a hold of the Big Book, and get a hold of This is How. Read them both.
You can tell me to go (censored) myself, but I'm going to tell you that your W leaving is the best thing that ever happened to you. It was the wake up call that you needed. Right now it [censored], but she may very well have saved your life or someone else's.
Cadet told you she gave you a gift with the time, use it wisely. I'll keep checking in on you so keep posting.
Be strong dys.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
