We had a few back and forth in gmail. She really laid it out. How she felt. She was sick of me always promising to change and not doing it. And you guys were right, the years of drug addiction and drinking is still front and center in her mind.
I know I shouldn't have but I ended up practically yelling (caps) that I HAVE changed. I don't want that old life back, it didn't work. I am still the man she married. I've wanted to be him again for so long. I just didn't know it was this bad. And I really didn't see it coming, if I did I would have changed sooner.
I know, I shouldn't have said that. I was overwhelmingly desperate and scared.
