MLC SEPERATED AND NO CHANGE PART 3

[asitis]

That might be a step in the right direction, but it still leaves him calling all the shots and not requiring him to carry any of the parenting load and allow you time to live your life. Having to run an errand when he comes over doesn't make you attractive. Having a life does that. He is cake eating and you are there where he left you reacting to whatever his agenda is.

Sunday is his day with your S (or pick the day). You can then make plans to do what you want. If he wants more days, great. If he complains that he doesn't want a fixed schedule, that means he wants to live his life and not reciprocate. Does he think this will be the arrangement after the D? No. You will have a schedule with him having so much time, and you having so much time. So, he thinks he wants that life, now is the time for him to try that on for size.

Don't make it about what he wants and what you want (then it becomes a contest), but say that this arrangement is not working for you or for your S. You need more structure so that you can plan your life ahead of time, and S needs time w/ his dad. You can also say that while you've been saying it's fine that he come over, that hasn't been the case. The current arrangement is for a short hiatus (a month or two), but you are now well beyond that with no sign of change.

See the difference between that and him keep coming over and you running an errand when he does? You need a life. You are entitled to a life, just like he is. And, he may decide he doesn't like the limited time he gets with you, especially if you are clearly going on with life and becoming all interesting and everything. He might even get the idea that you won't stay right where he left you and that may scare some sense into him.