[BrightFuture]

Job, I will probably do it, after this weekend. I’m going to see our mutual friends. I’m sure they are going to fill me in about this… The way I asked him the question was kind to just let him know about my plans and to let me know if there is any conflict with his. Since I didn’t get any reply about this, I take it as there is no conflict and I can use the condo.

Heather, thank you so much for your post. I do need 2x4 sometimes, even though I disagree sometimes.

I think you are angry because you have done all the DB stuff. YOU have handled it like a pro and stepped away and allowed him his space and not pressured and done it ALL THE WAY IT'S SUGGESTED/ADVISED... I think you're angry because you did it all the way you're supposed to and you haven't gotten the response you wanted.

You are absolutely right about this.
And this:

The bottom line Bright: There's not a dam thing you can do or not do that will change this crisis for him. YOU could stand on your head naked in the town square and he will continue on his merry way without even taking notice.

Sometimes I think that I need to stand on my head for me, to get me out of this sitch.

I think the final cut and big D are actually same thing for me. I’m not sure how else I need to cut him loose. The only things that cause any communication are the things that would get handled with D, like joint property, business, accounts, insurance, etc.

I still see you so invested in everything he does. From his mail to his weekend antics.

Well, I don’t know if I’m invested. I post this because there is not much to post otherwise. I have a house that I can afford, I have a job that I like, I have family, great friends, I can travel, if I want to, I am still in good health... But, I’m still grieving. So, I’m here to get some support and encouragement to help me through this process. And H is still in my thoughts. I don’t know if I ever going to be able to get rid of these thoughts. This is why I post things I post (mail, his antics, etc.). When I don’t get much response I feel that all this is so stupid and I should not post unless I have some very insightful things to say. I’m not so good at it.

I KNOW!! YOU aren't embracing the woman you really are because you are still invested in the man he IS. Today, he is a d-bag. YOU are the prize. You are an incredibly together woman who has handled this with such grace and dignity.

Thank you, Heather. I will have to think about your first statement here. I think you brought up a very interesting point that could be the reason why I’m still where I am.

Another thing I want to mention, about me getting angry and sensitive with the posts. I cannot recall specific posts, but I know that I do get sensitive when people who just randomly pop up and without even knowing my sitch, give me some cliché advice. I’m very intuitive, so I feel when it is fake. If it comes at the time when I’m not feeling too good, I do respond with some sensitivity and even anger, like you mentioned. I’m trying to be nice though. Maybe I should not respond at all, if I cannot explain what I feel.

Well, it is now confirmed that the woman on the FB picture posted on that weekend when he was in my town, is actually the woman I was thinking about. I’m not invested… Just the fact… And the possibility of her being an OW which could create another implication with all our mutual friends. Do I need to lose all the friends who know both of us? Why he cannot stay away from the relationships with friends and family members?