MLC leads to EA and WAW

[HurtHus]

Sorry I tried to post before putting the kids to bed. I had a job up until the end of June. When I lost my job as I usually do I began immediately to start looking. My wife suggested I apply for unemployment and take some time looking over the summer so I could relax and do things with our kids. I took them away for a week, went to my parents to help my dad after back surgery for another week, built a deck myself, and did several other home improvement projects. She has commented on how much calmer I have been lately. It also helps that I maxed out what unemployment pays and am still making a decent income. I have however not been sitting on my arse.

My struggle is figuring out if this is truly a MLC or just a WW (love the term Sandi!). She seems transparent, but cheaters are good at hiding things. How do I know for certain she has ended it? I guess I don't. I have to rely on what I see. I have her PW and haven't seen anything (though she can delete iMessages and text messages without me even knowing about them). She is calling and texting me again throughout the day. I think she is trying to check-in with me so I know what she is doing and where she is throughout the day (like when she goes to lunch and what store she goes to). She lets me know when she gets to the gym and when she is coming home from the gym and when she gets to work and when she is coming home. These are things we both used to do just out of habit and to let the other know we got places and such. She stopped doing that when the A started.

If this is truly an MLC I have to be more patient about what I expect her to do to fix the M because she needs to fix herself first. IF it isn't an MLC then I need to set clear expectations and boundaries and really stick to them in a tough love fashion. Hopefully I can get a little help tomorrow from my DB coach.

Today she has seemed really interested in how my day was going and when she heard about my job she was excited, but also a little bummed that I wouldn't be able to keep doing cool stuff with the kids. She even suggested we all go to dinner to celebrate. So confused. I feel like I am having an MLC just trying to figure out what way is up.