Wife left with kids yesterday...

[Painter]

I am getting a lawyer. I wanted to avoid this and not get ugly.

Getting a lawyer does not mean it has to get ugly. You can schedule an appointment with one or more to get some basic information about what your rights are, and hear which strategies are available to you. It would be very hard for you to be insistent on getting time with your children if you don't know your legal rights. Did I understand it correctly from the letter you wrote her that you are not legally married?

Painter, please elaborate on this:

It looks like you have some trouble separating your children from your W, and that you accept her taking them from you and being the gatekeeper. They have not left you, and they didn't want to. What she said about earning the children back, sounds to me as if it was really just about her, but she also has trouble separating herself from them, it seems.

It sounds like it to me, from what you write - that you seemed to think you should detach from your children because they are with her - and on her end, her claims that you have to prove something to her and respect her to get to spend time with your own children.

I will look into Counseling. How do i find a DB Counselor in my area?

I would google, but I don't know if there's a place on Michele's main website to locate a counselor?

It's a lonely walk down this scary road and it hurts bad.

It is, but there's a lot of us here to help you feel a little less alone.