Sit and spin V

[asitis]

My DB coach is working with me on turning negotiations into opportunities to show respect (ask what she thinks), cooperate (don't ask what she wants or say what I want, but ask what she thinks is best), and avoid leading myself into allies where it becomes about getting one's way or giving the other their way - power struggles). The usual listening and validating only take you so far, as how you frame something going in tends to lead toward power struggle or the more cooperative, affirming approach. There will be plenty that still ends up my wants vs. hers, but being conscious of limiting those going in has been really helpful to me.