I have been diligent in doing my homework. I started it long before I ever posted -- long before I ever registered. I did find some new things in the links that I missed before.
I am currently seeking advice on my "approach" as it were. Currently I remain kind with her, this is for me and it is also for her. Initially it was my kindness that made her notice me, convinced her to marry me. Even with OM, she says she is there because he is nice to her. I have recently read some links on this site that would say this is the wrong approach for me to have. When all of this exploded and I started evaluating myself, I came to the conclusion that I am a kind man -- I always have been and I refuse to let ANY circumstances turn that into cynicism. I want to keep that part of myself. Other parts are free to go ... jealousy, controlling behavior, being overly critical, and clingy.
So at the moment, the basic game plan is to remain kind, not initiate contact, give her space, not discuss the R, and to keep myself busy. Logically I can see the need to set boundaries, but I feel that now is not the time to do it. I feel like at this point in time, I need to let everything play out, A included and once we move on to a point where she is also interested in salvaging our relationship, make my boundaries clear then. I understand that point may never come, but at the moment I am able to wait it out.
Advice / comments / 2 x 4s are all welcome. Thanks for taking the time to read.
"There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't."
M: 38 W: 37 T: 20 M: 19 Kids: Stepson?20, S19, S16, D12 BD: 02/19/2015 (She moved out) PA Confirmed: 02/22/2015 (She is now living with OM) Dazed and confused: 09/13/2015
