W wants to handle all the arrangments for the S birthday - great. That's one less than I have to stress over. I will not interfere.
Previously I bent over backwards doing what I thought would make her happier and less stressed at these events. For example she would flip out if I did not record everyone's name on a sheet with their gift for thank you cards. She wanted a photo with each gift and the birthday kid. It was always a stressor for me and I am sure it must have been a stressor for her. If something went wrong, it was "my fault". Now I don't have to worry about that. So, that's a plus right?
My plan is to be gracious, and polite and ensure S9 and D6 have a great stress free time.
Now that I review it, all kids events were very stressful for me based on W's unspoken expectations. If there was an art show, I was supposed to have taken all the photos with the artwork and load everything in the car. If it was a play date and kids came to our house to play, they had to have an activity like a painting session or a cooking class. My idea of a play date was to let the kids come over and just play. I would feed them lunch and snacks but just let them play.
So, very different unsaid expectations about these types of events. So again, it boild down to lack of communication and differences of communication style.
I so hope this birthday is easier. I will have zero expectations.
