Thank you Vanilla...you're right, but this is a phase of life I am very resistant to accepting. I saw my IC this morning. She wants to have me think about anti depressants and I told her no. I'm going to put a photo of the smashed snd bent iPhone on my bathroom mirror though. That may help with reigning in some of the more emotional poor H it was probably me kind of thoughts. I learned today that there is definitely a lot of unresolved stuff in this dynamic, from my childhood with my father. I learned that there was never anything wrong with me trying to discuss being upset or disappointed with my partner. His comment, Z, you have a different form of violence, your anger is just visceral in your words, my ic told me no. I will be ok. I have to find more to occupy my mind, and like pigpen said start channeling some of that compassion to me instead of him.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
