Reading you a bit ... times like this ... I relate and maybe this will shed some light on something... or maybe I am talking out of my arse
This issue, crisis, whatever you want to call it is very taxing, demanding ... I feel at times its like being in a fight where the opponent has no rules .. they can kick, bite, pull hair .. what ever they want and we have to play nice, be fair, turn the other cheek. There are times when ... well .. enough is enough and even the slightest thing irks us, makes us ask .. "when will this stop, when do I get MY way for a change, Why do they get to have it all with no consequences" ... so sometimes even on the smallest things we want to draw a line in the sand and say "Enough .. NO I will not let you win today"
Times like this ... this place helps, I have been talked down off the ledge a few times .. then had to look at where I was, take a breathe and think ... is this really about X ... or is there something deep inside of me tugging for attention to be dealt with ... usually it was the later. For me ... I was sick of W having her way while wrecking my life, but diggin further I realized I had a hurt little boy who really had to be dealt with ... the betrayal, abandonment .. all that ... its tough Heavy ... but take a step back and think about things ... maybe it is just the extra night and the birthday party ... just make sure its not something else getting a rise out of you.
