Talked with L today and she said it sounds like H is very passive aggressive in that he wants someone else to talk the blame for everything wrong so he can look like the good guy to the outside world.
She asked how long I was willing to put up with his living somewhere else while married. she asked how does this look to your S that a family unit should be husband, wife children all living together helping each other out and contributing to the household and how we are doing it now is like accepting it is ok for H to treat me like this and that you can just walk away from your responsibilities.
She said if I don't do something I am just letting H know that what he is doing is ok and he will keep doing it because he basically has he cake and eats it too.
