have i been making mistakes too long

[tkdmme]

Did any of you have suicidal thoughts? Im not going to kill myself but I cant deny that the thought hasn't crossed my mind. Am I posting to often? GOD I cant stop thinking about her!! She says its all my fault and the guilt is relentless. I keep thinking of every time I made her mad or didn't react to her in the right way.
I have been reading about MLC. Even if this is the case she would never admit it. I have been trying like a mad man to figure out the exact problem. She seems to have the symptoms of MLC or pre-menopause. She is not the same person. She doesn't remember any of the good times that we shared. Only the bad ones.

I love this woman with all my heart and she is a good person and mother. I cant for the life of me figure this out. I want to fix it somehow nut I know I cant.

I feel like a little girl crying all the time and reaching out to anyone who will listen for help. I know this is normal but this cant last much longer.