have i been making mistakes too long

[HurtHus]

TK, hang in there. I know it doesn't change things, but you aren't alone in this nightmare. Others are going through similar situations. It's so great to hear that there is a time when I might feel better. I have joked that I have too many mood swings to be bipolar, but that's the closest I can describe life as right now. I'm hopeful one minute, terrified the next, furious the next, devastated, numb, and back to hopeful. And this can happen several times a day.

My W and I still live in the same house. I agreed to a trial separation and when I had the kids out of the house for a week she had the OM come to my house. I work from home. It seems like everywhere I look I can imagine them together. There are days I think it would be therapeutic if I lit our bed on fire.

I confirmed that my wife had an affair and believe it to be over and it seems as though we are in the "piecing it back together" phase, but I don't even know if we are or not and the approach seems so foreign to me. It is confusing. I don't know if I should do the nice things for her that I have always done, let her initiate everything and then engage or detach. It feels like I am the one going crazy and acting wildly out of control even though I am focused on trying to come out the other side of this mess a better person.